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Not too long ago, I had a dream. I can't remember much of it, but I do remember my sister stumbling upon some antique coins in great condition. Knowing my knack for history, my family asked me to go take a look at the coins and maybe try to estimate where they came from and what they were worth. 

Oddly enough, I had a son of around eight or nine years. Though it was not verbally expressed in the dream, we both knew he was adopted. Not surprisingly since I do not want a child of my womb. But something that was surprising was how he was dressed: he wore pink shorts, a girl's tank top, had his hair long, straight, and beautiful, and even had a flowery plastic headband pulling his hair back. In short, he looked and dressed like a girl, yet we both understood he was a boy. I'm not one for traditional gender roles so if I did have a son, I would give him the option of growing his hair out, let him have traditional girl's toys, and buy him girl's clothes if he liked them. However, it was surprising that I let him dress like that in front of my family, especially my conservative mother. Nevertheless, no one commented on his appearance.

I was in the kitchen and the coins were sitting on a table. As I went to examine them, my son began crying for attention. 

"This'll only take a minute," I pleaded with him, "I'll be with you after I look at them."

But he still whimpered and clutched at my pants, wanting to be picked up.

"I promise I'll hold you when I'm done counting them," I told him as I tried to make my way to the table.

He continued to cry.

Giving up on appraising the coins, I sighed and picked him. He immediately stopped crying and held me as tightly as he could. I sat down on the living room floor with him on my thighs. There was something playing on the television, but he had no interest in it. Instead we just sat there, me with my arms cocooning him, and him with his arms around my neck. 

I mumbled comforting things to him and kissed his hair. He said nothing, but I knew he was content. 

In that dream, I loved him. I loved him and did not want to let him go. 

When I awoke, I missed my son. A couple of weeks later, I still do.

Ugh. Look at me pining away like this! How can I love someone who I've never even met before in my life? Why does my heart ache for that child? He was nothing more than an illusion, yet I miss him so much that tears sting my eyes in yearning.

I'm a fool...
  • Reading: Out of the Shadow- Rose Cohen
  • Eating: Cough drops
  • Drinking: Cough syrup, Mint tea with honey and lemon

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MASYON Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Spring elixir by KmyGraphic thank you
Thank you for the fav :hug:
TheSphinx Feb 7, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for faving my [Red Light 2047] :)
thanks for faving :)
Celem Feb 2, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav: on my red mountain pic!
Thanks for the fav.
AniqeAnuk Feb 1, 2014   Photographer
Thank you for the :+fav::hug:
4hellcat Dec 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much for the fav :rose:
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